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  • Writer's pictureJonathan Anderson

Finding Yourself In An Unsolvable Situation, Vol. 2

You leave the office at 4:45 pm. After a grueling day of work, you make the commute home. It is a Tuesday. You live 11 miles outside of the city. That 11 miles with no traffic takes about 20 minutes by automobile. Today, there is an accident. Your Garmin GPS states that will take you an hour. You are actually excited to go home today. Your wife of 3 years is pregnant. Normally she is exhausted at this hour, but today she seemed energized. She ordered food to be picked up from a local spot. Because it is Tuesday, tacos are on the menu. Your favorite.

You swing by the taco shop and make sure everything is in the bag. Your wife has sent you detailed instructions multiple times as to what was ordered so you do not screw anything up. It would not be the first time you have forgotten something that was asked of you.

At 5:57 pm you arrive at your door. You walk in, kiss your wife, place the food on the table and head upstairs to shower. Refreshed you head downstairs to enjoy the meal. It was fantastic. You help clean the table, make sure all is tidy and stretch out on the couch to watch the television series Chuck. An absolute favorite. About 15 minutes into the episode your wife asks you to get her a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream from the freezer. No problem. You hit pause on the show, and head to the freezer. You open the freezer and realize there is no ice cream left. 

At 7:20 pm you tell your wife that you will head out to the local store to pick up a carton, as long as she does not resume watching. Perfect a deal has been made. About 10 minutes later you are parking in front of the store. You turn off the engine, lock the doors and head in. You already know the ice cream is on aisle 7. You make a beeline to it, in order to return home as soon as possible and resume some relaxation time.

As you arrive at the aisle you see at the other end a gentleman in an overcoat walking towards you. Not important. Another customer. The ice cream is about halfway down. When you get to the center of the aisle, you look through the glass doors to find the mint chocolate chip ice cream. There is one container left. You open the door. 

At the same time, you hear a voice. “Only one container left.” You say without looking up, “yea my pregnant wife wanted it, so I had to rush out to grab it.” You take the container and begin to close the door when the same voice says, ‘I think I will take it.” You are too tired to think and just say “Sorry man, choose another flavor, I am not in the mood!”

You turn and see two cowboy boots in front of you and you look up. It is Chuck Norris….


Jonathan Anderson is a contributor for Degen Magazine. His interests lie in real estate, the economy, cooking, interesting things, and the market. Follow him on Twitter for more: @I_am_stockchef

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