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  • Writer's pictureJonathan Anderson

Finding Yourself In An Unsolvable Situation, Vol. 1

Updated: Apr 10

It is a clear crisp fall day. Temperatures are in the mid-50s. Not ideal for your jump, but that is how the cards were dealt. As the plane reaches 10,000 feet you begin to get nervous. This will be your first attempt to solo skydive out of the Cessna 182 that has been used countless times in all your training runs. You recently went all in with a $9,100 UPT Vector Complete package. In addition, you are carrying a cold steel SRK-5 knife used in Navy Seal Combat for emergency, should any rope get tangled during descent. You are thoroughly prepared.

 

As the pilot announces the standby call signal, your heart rate increases, and the breaths become shallow. You are excited and nervous at the same time. The flightpath is taking you across the Great Lakes in Michigan, specifically on the outer rim of Lake Superior, where you will land on the shore. You are thirty seconds from jump time. The door to the cabin is unlocked and electronically opening. 


The pilot suddenly veers hard right to avoid a swarm of geese heading South for the winter months. The turn was sharp. You find your self sliding over in the rear bench seat. A slight panic overcomes your senses, but you remain calm as you expect the plane will instantly stabilize. It does not. 


When you realize something is going wrong you grab the door handles to protect yourself from falling out of the plane. Ironically, you were planning to make yourself fall out of the plane of all things. The plane takes a second hard dip. Your right hand is flung from the handle, your leg scrapes the door frame cutting your pant leg and creating a 3-inch laceration. You immediately out of instinct reach for the site of the pain and…… whooooosh, you are sucked out of the plane in an uncontrolled spin. 


You are now falling. Well off the target of the North Beach of Lake Superior over the middle of the lake. You realize you need to control the spin, get your chute open and prepare for the water that is going to be cold. Slowly your training comes into play. Your spin becomes minimal, your feet are lowered, and you pull the ripcord. Perfection. 


With the parachute deployed, you have time to think. Your leg is bleeding, you are slowly descending to a body of water, and not dry land. You have no additional gear with you, and you know it will be a long swim to shore. You calculate the distance of approximately 2 miles. In swim gear an average swimmer can accomplish this in about an hour. But with the cold temperature, and all the flight gear, it will take much longer. You are now 5,000 feet above the water. 


Random Poem and Citation: Molly starts with an M. Molly ends with a Y. She writes very deep. I do not know why. Photo Courtesy of falling parachuter. 


As the altitude slowly decreases to 1,500 feet you notice objects in the water. You cannot depict what these objects are, but they are big enough to see from this distance. You also notice they are moving. 


At 500 feet above the water, you are stabilizing yourself for landing and processing what the first things you will need to do are. Release your parachute from your back, float, get your bearings and start heading to shore. You realize that the objects are definitely moving. You then can see that it is some type of pack of animals. Very odd for a pack of animals to be in a lake. 


At 150 feet you slow your drop to a crawl. You see now there are a group of black bears in the water. Your mind screams 'what the actual fuck' over and over. How are you going to land in water surrounded by black bears with a laceration on your leg. 


Photo Courtesy of National Geographic


You also notice a commotion taking place in the center of the pack. The center where you are going to land. At 50 feet you realize the bears are fighting. They are fighting sharks. A school of sharks and a pack of bears are fighting in the lake. They are fighting exactly where you are going to land.


Photo Courtesy of Amazon


Splash, you hit the water.


WHAT DO YOU DO?


Jonathan Anderson is a contributor for Degen Magazine. His interests lie in real estate, the economy, cooking, interesting things, and the market. Follow him on Twitter for more: @I_am_stockchef


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